11:30 PM on NYE 2015/2016

Its New Years Eve and I'm sitting in my apartment, alone.

Half of me is kind of depressed about that fact... and the other half doesn't care. I'm in a new city and haven't been here long. I am still in a transition period. My friends and family are spread all across the country and even the world... 

You hear it said that how you spend your new years will be how you spend the rest of your year... well, its a good thing I've never been one for cliches and silly sayings. I've also never spent the night alone before. I've always had parties or friends or at least one sister to spend my evening with... and I've spent many years feeling alone and isolated. 

This year? Well, I'm starting to plot. To plan. To dream.

My sister will be getting married. Coincidentally, I will be traveling to South Africa for her wedding and to be their wedding photographer. 

I want to read books. (I should find my Kindle.)

I want to listen to music. 

I want to figure out how I connect with God...and how to read the Bible on MY terms, not some outline another person has created and that works for them.

To find a church- or, more importantly, to find community. 

To take photos. Make friends. 

I have come to be fairly comfortable in my own skin- to embrace who I am, my personality and quirks, the way I process things... but I want to grow and stretch. To laugh more and to be lighter. I'm so tired of feeling as though there is a heavy weight holding me down. I know I cannot look at another human being and have their life or be them, but there are traits that I am drawn to and can definitely learn to develop in my own life.


I've been contemplating a word for the year all day long and I knew once I started writing it would come.




noun: light; plural noun: lights

  1. 1

    the natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible.

  2. understanding of a problem or mystery; enlightenment.

  3. an area of something that is brighter or paler than its surroundings.

  4. a window or opening in a wall to let light in.

  5. make (something) start burning; ignite.

  6. of little weight; easy to lift


Those are just a few of the definitions that pop up... and YES. Yes please.

Well its seven minutes til' 2016. I hope everyone had a year to remember and is ready to move on to the new one. Happy New Year friends.