So the new year comes, whether you desire it or not. Whether you are prepared, excited or fearful. Whether the year before was grand and full of adventure and love and light, or dark and bleak and you are ready to shake it's dust off your feet.
So many traditions surround the new year. Some people plan on partying the night away into oblivion, some stand in the freezing cold with hordes of others, some sit at home alone, some probably crawl into bed well before midnight.
I’ve welcomed the new year with a dear group of friends. Celebrating with themed dinner parties, costumes and games. I’ve watched movies with my sisters. I’ve drank champagne and toasted with my bestie. I’ve watched fireworks near the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. I’ve also sat at home alone wishing the night would go quicker or been in a crowded room full of people but felt alone.
At some point, I usually take some time to sit and write.
I don’t really believe in resolutions. I don’t make some giant list of unachievable goals that I try and implement with the start of a new year. But I love to reflect, to take time and think back on where I’ve been, what has happened, and see if I feel as though I have moved on. Sometimes I take time to dream, other times, I’m too fearful of having expectations and just hope that something might change with the striking of midnight.
Sometimes I decide my year will be full of “no”. Self-care. Rest. Thinking about ME. Sometimes without even consciously deciding, my year is devoted to others, to saying yes, and attempting the whole self-less thing.
As the years go by, I find less emotions tied to this changing of the years. I’ve learned to live, to make choices and goals- I’ve learned what it is to hurt and to be happy. I find myself less focused on time and some ridiculous cultural countdown and more focused on the present.
The past year was full. There was work and my career. There was travel. There were friends and family. Experiences I had never had before. Most were happy, but some were painful. I said no a lot. I thought about a lot of goals but never pursued them. I stopped thinking about a lot of rules and let myself live a little.
I’m ready for this new year in a funny way. Not because its a new year, but just because right now, its time for some changes… time for some growth. I finally feel in a position to chase some of these things and I’m excited to see what becomes of my life.
I think a lot of life’s experiences depend on if you feel ready or not. Truly ready. Ready to embrace the good or the bad, the excitement or the hurt, ready to let life make you who you are supposed to be. Ready to be strong, brave, courageous, kind, open and welcoming.