I am, a self proclaimed (and proven) nomad. Since moving out of my parent's home approximately 9.5 years ago, I have moved ten times. (More if you include time living abroad!)
I easily find myself restless, dreaming of new places, scenes, cities to explore, a new room, a new space. Always feeling as though where I am at is just a touch from where I really want to be.
Today I was struck by the [simple] thought:
I am not looking for a geographical location.
I am looking for a person- for connection, and, ultimately, love. I am searching for my person. Once found, I am confident a lot of my restlessness, feelings of being discontent will ease, regardless of my location on a map.
Please don't read into this that I believe love will solve all of my issues- or that I have an idealistic idea of perfection in a relationship. Believe me, you don't manage to reach your thirties as a single person in the age of online dating apps and relationships, and believe in Prince Charming. (who, btw, is really creepy when you break it down. All the Disney princes are. But that's a soap box for another time.)
So I'm looking for my person. And I won't say that once I meet him I'll give up my wandering ways- I still want to see the world. To live in new places, explore and get lost... but I truly believe that the urgency to escape and start over, that some of that will fade away.
Maybe its a romantic notion, and you all are shaking your head at my naivete, but I'm clinging to this.
I have lost a lot of hope, and romance sails out the door in this current dating culture, so any dreams, any longings of a tiny bit of magic mixed with love? I'm holding them close.