Humans; we’re searching. For something, or someone. For a feeling; for a moment. A story.
A purpose, a calling, something that pulls at the strings of our heart and prompts the souls of our feet. Longing for adventure, the unknown… but also love and a feeling of home. A twisty journey for contentment, that amusingly surprises us when we discover that we always have more dreams, more wishes, more wants.
And its easy to let one adventure eclipse all the others.
To confuse one branch of excitement and pursuit with the ultimate goal. For many, for myself, its easy to let relationships or dating become that.
There’s nothing wrong with dating. There’s nothing wrong with putting in effort and attention. Practice honestly makes perfect when it comes to dating. Small talk and jokes, flirtation, conversation, being at ease with a relative stranger… the more you do it, the more comfortable you become.
And it can be thrilling. Meeting someone new, the unknown, the possibilities. Attraction, physical contact, catching someone’s eye.
But… dating isn't what makes me, ME— It can be funny- providing so many awkward stories to laugh at over drinks with friends. Dating can be heartbreaking, causing stomach aches and tears and an irrational fear that everyone is a liar— But when people ask what I do, or what I spend time thinking about and pursuing, I honestly don’t want the conversation to always turn to my love life.
I am more than the pursuit of a boyfriend or husband, or whatever.
I have talents and passions, hobbies, interests and thoughts that weigh on my heart. But its so easy in the hubbub of finding someone to share life with, to lose yourself.
I can easily admit I’ve done this. There are so many things in my life that I love and enjoy doing, but because the people and culture around me constantly barrage me with pressure to not be alone, I allow my emotions and thoughts to go full-steam in that direction.
The very things that make me attractive to other human beings… suddenly fall to the wayside.
Ya’ll, I love music. I love to discover new bands and songs, I love to listen to it, I love to play it. I’m a photographer, a designer and stylist. I want to style and photograph more books, hell, I want to write a book! I love people and good conversation. Being outside, cooking, traveling! I’m so seriously done with putting aside the things I love and need in my life in the quest for one piece of the puzzle.