On Loss

How do I keep on like this? As soon as I have stumbled upon another kindred soul, a person, a friend who gets me and is not already in a serious relationship or married...

She is lost.

And I am always happy for her. She falls in love- how can I not be over-the-moon delighted that a friend has found something she has wanted?

But, yet again, there is loss.

I have lost someone. 


They are no longer my person.

For I have no person.

(this is made abundantly clearer each time this occurs.)

How do I continually gather happiness for friends, while fighting this ache in my spirit? This question that arises like bile in my throat...

"Will I ever have a person?"


Or will I forever be on the sidelines, watching others pair with one another. They'll keep me in their lives, we'll remain friends, maybe even good ones, but they are lost to me.

They have a person. 

And I do not.