SingleLife

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Who are you

You say I’m beautiful

See my soft eyes and gentle heart

The kindness and spirit in my hair

You want to touch

To answer

To open me up

It is your one thing

I am your one thing

Then with time

The mystery fades

You told me you didn’t like it anyway

But I know you

We’ve spent enough time

Talked and confided

You held me close

I can tell when

I’m at arms length.

This lure and pull,

Some days you smile

And your eyes are like those

That I first fell

Hard

Fast

Sloppily for.

But now you don’t see

I sit across

Next to you

With you

And I’m invisible

 

We are invisible

Disposable

Raised to be vulnerable

To feel lucky

As if the only goal

In this life, this world

Is to find a lover

A husband

A mate

 

You are raised to feel confident

Strong and determined

What you want

Or nothing else will do

If not us

Then another beautiful woman

With more spirit in her hair

A smaller waist

And softer eyes

 

I will pick up

Move on and shake you off

Tears don’t last

Though an ache remains

One more brick in a wall

Trying to not be

A skittish colt

A frightened rabbit

Faking confidence

When all I want to do

Is cry and ask if

I’ll always end up alone?

But I’ll always choose alone

Than someone who

Isn’t right

They say you shouldn’t trust

Feelings and emotions

But I refuse to boil this down

To logic and practicality.

 

Here

No one really tells you
That mainly it's important for a person
To be there. 
Mentally
Physically
Emotionally
Soulmates and connections are dreamy
But for all the heartbeat skips and giddy feelings
Someone who is on the sofa
Listening
Talking
Being
Next to you
That's important
-Em Ogden, June 26, 2017

We've all met a person(or persons)that makes our stomachs do weird flippy-floppy things. Has us blinking in amazement and gushing to our best friends... "We have so much in common! Its scary, weird, uncanny!" The kind of person and connection that makes you fall quick and hard and see cartoon hearts and want to just hold hands and jump on a plane to Paris with a virtual stranger. Its like falling headfirst into adventure and possibilities, you feel like singing and dancing and making so many exceptions.

Red flags turn a muted rose color because you're up to the challenge for something so real. So intense... 

...But he's a traveling musician who is used to a lot of attention and girls fawning over him... and you aren't that sort of girl...

Or he's going through a life crisis and says "you're wonderful" but pulls the rug out from under you, causing that falling in like feeling to be more like rolling down a set of stairs onto a pile of rocks. 

The main thing? Though there were connections, they weren't ever really... there. They were existing in a dreamy, pastel colored other-world that played love songs by Angus and Julia Stone and where you could stay up 'til 2am every night giggling into a phone. 

The real world, real people... maybe they aren't as "dreamy". But maybe its nice to not always feel nauseous. (lets face it, that's what those damn butterflies do anyhow.) While the allure of someone who is a free-spirit, an artist, who is super passionate and sensitive is addictive...

...someone who will hug you on a Monday, or hold your hand on the sofa, or take you for coffee and shopping for records on the weekend... that's special.

Relationships and communication are hard enough without your body and mind feeling like they're reeling. All. The. Time. Maybe the sound of a steady beating heart beneath your head is the real lovely thing... because its there. And you're there. And you can't hug someone who is miles away emotionally and physically... you can't hold the hand of someone that is so caught up in personal drama that they have no free hand to offer.

You are worth someone having two hands free to offer, a beating heart to rest your head upon. You should be taken out for coffee and made to laugh while being able to see the light dance in their eyes. You deserve someone being present. Someone being there.